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Rigzby Rollins

The Renderings of Rigzby Rollins

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Former Journal Entry: 3/18/2019

I've never written my words... my thoughts... to leave it all as a potential pendulum that could swing over myself later...
I'm not entirely comfortable with this...
This city... this city is a social wasteland...
It's a backward beast that convinces and lies to you that it's moving forward.
Its tempting claws bait and pull you in and before you know it, you are a part of its meaningless existence, a victim of its mental apocalypse.
I am surrounded by hypocrisies, greed, selfishness and catch 22s from nearly every angle. 
I came here to start something better, I allowed myself into the fold, I wanted to become a page in this book. 
It would seem as the book closed, this page was torn out, as if to have never been written in.
---- several lines of chaotic scribbling ----
This city... both hypnotic and confusing...
You show your loyalty and they punish you for it.
You show dedication and they accuse you of control.
You speak honestly and they accuse you of malice.
You say nothing and they accuse you of not caring. 
You show your pain and they see flames.
You try to help them and they take advantage.
You give them your true self and they abandon you.
My social wasteland has left me barren of both pride and emotion.
A verbal mind that has become voiceless, reduced to scratchings on a paper never to be read.
its become so quiet, I can't hear you anymore.
...what do I do now...

----- The paper left crumpled in a park waste bin next to smashed chess pieces thrown away ----

Edited by Rigzby Rollins
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